This morning I was getting 5 minutes of work done, while Justin had a direct eyeline to the kids in the bathtub. I heard Justin say "Come on, Bubba... back in the tub...". Sean has been making a bad habit of getting out of the tub soaking wet and then running into the hallway. Anyway, a few seconds later I heard a wet slapping thud, that could only have come from 40 lbs of toddler inertia + three feet of air. I bounded the baby gate like a motherfucking gazelle, you guys. As soon as I didn't see any blood, I promplty gave him an earful. "YOU SEE! SEEEEEE?!?! THIS IS WHY WE DON'T RUN OUT OF THE BATHTUB! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DIDN'T HIT YOUR HEAD! OMG!"

Without even hesitating the boy says to me "BUT MOM! I'M A SUPERHERO!"