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Mama Megs
09 October 2012 @ 09:25 am
Yesterday Sadie thought it would be funny to start calling me Grandma. I didn't take it well. Shit got ugly, yo. We were flinging insults at each other with fury!

NO YOU'RE a POOPY HEAD!

YOUR MOM IS A POOPYHEAD!  wait...

I don't know. READ THIS because it made me squirt tears out of my eyes laughing (and my a few droplets of pee out of my bits)
 
 
I'm Feeling: amusedamused
 
 
Mama Megs
29 September 2012 @ 02:24 pm
Earlier today as I was velcroed to my bed, I lost the remote. I peeked over Justin's side of the bed, and didn't find the remote, but something else. 

I squinted my eyes and looked harder, and then imploded with the whole losing of my shit thing (where as usually I explode with shrieking and noise in general, this time I couldn't even breathe). I ran out to the dining room and pulled Justin by the shirt into the bedroom and pointed in that general direction.

He says "WTHell? Is it a spider? It couldn't wait until I finished feeding the kids?" I just kept pointing.

He did the same thing I did. Looked, then looked/squinted harder. "The hell is THAT?" I looked at him like YEAH.. NO SHIT...

He very slowly lifted the bedskirt... stared for another few seconds... and then started laughing. hard.


I am brimming over with smarts. Collapse )
 
 
Mama Megs
28 August 2012 @ 10:33 pm
Why did I have to have my kids during the hottest dang part of the year? It was 100+ degrees the whole time I was in the hospital. It was the only good thing about being in the hospital for a week. Well, besides the whole successful deliveries thing.

My babies were born at 3:0something a.m., at 5lbs-something ounces, 3 years ago tonight.... 7 weeks premature... and spent an agonizing month in the NICU. They are now 96% percentile in their height class and also above average in weight (50% Sadie, 90% Sean). They are 100% character, and 1000% cute.

Happy Birthday, loves, and a million Thank You's for existing.
 
 
Mama Megs
28 July 2012 @ 12:14 pm
Seany and Daddy finished with their respective bathing at the same time. Sean went into the bedroom to get dressed, and stopped in front of the bathroom door, where Daddy was standing, also buck naked. Sean stared silently at his crotch for like 2 whole minutes. Finally he says "GROSS!"

LOL
 
 
Mama Megs
21 May 2012 @ 09:03 pm
Yesterday was a beach day. Tomorrow will be another beach day.









 
 
 
Mama Megs
09 May 2012 @ 03:44 pm
This morning I was getting 5 minutes of work done, while Justin had a direct eyeline to the kids in the bathtub. I heard Justin say "Come on, Bubba... back in the tub...". Sean has been making a bad habit of getting out of the tub soaking wet and then running into the hallway. Anyway, a few seconds later I heard a wet slapping thud, that could only have come from 40 lbs of toddler inertia + three feet of air. I bounded the baby gate like a motherfucking gazelle, you guys. As soon as I didn't see any blood, I promplty gave him an earful. "YOU SEE! SEEEEEE?!?! THIS IS WHY WE DON'T RUN OUT OF THE BATHTUB! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DIDN'T HIT YOUR HEAD! OMG!"

Without even hesitating the boy says to me "BUT MOM! I'M A SUPERHERO!"
 
 
I'm Feeling: amusedamused
 
 
Mama Megs
07 April 2012 @ 03:59 pm
Rick Santorum makes the moon sad. Duh.

 
 
Mama Megs
06 April 2012 @ 10:13 pm

AAHHHHHHHCollapse )
 
 
I'm Feeling: draineddrained
 
 
Mama Megs
We took the kids to the park the other day. Sadie and Justin immediately went towards the grass to kick the ball. Seany headed in the opposite direction towards the slides. He took the shortcut through the sandbox to get there. In said germ hole is a super bratty little six year old girl, playing with her buckets and shovels and shit.

Bratty Asshole: HE'S GOING TO GET MY TOYS! (In this convo, italicized = in whine voice)

Me: Pft! Don't worry about it. He doesn't care about your stupid toys!

Bratty Asshole: MY SANDCASTLE! HE STEPPED ON MY SANDCASTLE!

Me: Sandcastle? WHAT Sandcastle?

Bratty Asshole: RIGHT THERE! SEE? HE STEPPED ON IT!!!

Me: I don't see a sandcastle. I don't anything even remotely like a "castle".

Bratty Asshole: IT WAS THERE! I MADE IT! HE RUINED IT!

Me: *crouches down* Lookit. A wet mound of sand a Sandcastle does not make, ok? Don't flatter yourself. Nothing great was lost, so just get over it.

Bratty Asshole: DAAADDDDY! HE RUINED MY SANDCASTLE!!!!!!!!!!

500 lb Samoan guy: *looks up from his sandwich long enough to say* That's Nice, honey. Good Job.

Me: *smirks* Yes. That's nice. Enjoy rebuilding your.... castle.

PFT. Little Bitch.
 
 
Mama Megs
27 March 2012 @ 05:48 pm
Earlier today, Sean said "Oh Sissy. You're SOOOO CUTE!" and then went up and gave her a hug and a kiss. I was kicking myself for not getting that on camera, even though it was out of the blue. Then I was video-ing Sadie to see if she was saying she had an owchie in her head, instead of an ocean, and I got a little bit of Mommy Gold instead.

 
 
 
Mama Megs
27 March 2012 @ 11:40 am
I forgot to post this a couple of weeks ago. FYI - to this day when I ask her what happened to her head, she says she has an ocean in it. Doesn't even have to think about it. Heh.

 
 
Mama Megs
I have decided that my ideal "pet" would be an aquarium full of miniature narwhals, the size ranging between a hermit crab and a baby sea turtle. Assuming, of course, that they could manage to share an aquarium without spearing each other through their cute little narwhal bellies. That would not be ideal, because then you could only have 1, and Ideally, I'd have about 15 of those suckers. 


More sinister things have been found in nature, and even stranger things have been made FROM nature. I don't think 15 miniature non-fellow-miniature-narwhal-murdering narwhals is that big of a stretch. 

Except when you try to say that last sentence out loud more than once, that is. Then you'll probably hate it a little bit. 


 
 
I'm Feeling: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
Mama Megs
Sadie - Mommy Help Me Open This!

Me: I'm changing your brother right now, sweetie. Just a minute, ok?

Sadie - Mommy Help Me Open This!

Sadie - Mommy Help Me Open This!

Sadie - Mommy Help Me Open This!

Sadie - Mommy Help Me Open This!

Me: Sadie! Seriously. One of my hands is holding your brothers feet in the air, and the other hand is wiping poop off his butt.

Sean: POOP!!

Sadie - Mommy Help Me Open This!

Sean: POOOOOP!!

Sadie - Mommy Help Me Open This!

Me: Really? REALLY? My hands are full of shit right now, Sadie? SEE?

Sean: Shit! SHIIIIIIIT!

Sadie - Immaknow! (I don't know) Mommy? Help Me Open Thiiiiiiis!

*sigh* "This", in this case, were two empty vitamin bottles.

 
 
Mama Megs
12 March 2012 @ 10:07 pm
I  REALLY loved this song... until I imagined it played in a True Blood episode (shut up... you KNOW it will be). Then I still loved it, but not as much.

 
 
Mama Megs
06 March 2012 @ 03:44 pm
Seany seems to have finally found his voice. He's particularly fond of singing along to the little ditties they play in between the shows on Nick Jr.... that they just this week ended up taking off Nick Jr. all together. Which sucks almost as bad as them moving Wow Wow Wubzy to 1am. My kids LOVE that fricken show. Me - I won't miss it even a little. Anyway. Yo Gabba Gabba still has tons of songs and dances he loves. Since they only play the same shitting 12 episodes over and over again, he's practically memorized the songs and dances. As have I, unfortunately. He loves balls (not testicular balls, although I imagine he loves his own. most boys do). He calls them circle balls. For the longest time I thought he was saying soccer balls. Some other things he loves - "winkies" which are blankets. He doesn't have any one in particular, but he's prone to dragging winkies through the house, just like Linus - Drinking. The kid is constantly asking for "babas"... which is what they call sippy cups. Salting things hasn't seemed to help much - Grapes. Holy Crap does he love grapes. They both do actually. They also took well to pears, or "pear apples". They're over banana's and apples for the moment - Lately he's been going around saying "Oh NO! What Will We DO?". It's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen. I don't know where he even heard that. I have a feeling he's going to have a growth spurt soon. I mean, Sadie's actually almost caught up to him (in height), which has never happened ever. He's wearing 4T shorts and 3T pants, and it seems like it's been that way for awhile now.

He actually fell asleep on the couch last week. It's literally the 2nd time he's done that since he was teeny weeny. They still don't sleep anywhere that isn't their cribs. Also, that horrible god awful shirt was not my idea (obviously)



Us when he was teeny weeny



 
 
 
Mama Megs
02 March 2012 @ 09:31 pm
Taxi. Taxi, Riding in the backseat. Roll the windows up. Roll the windows down. Put the money thru the slot. See you later, thanks a lot. Sure beats walking cross town.



 
 
Mama Megs
26 February 2012 @ 03:01 pm
At some point in the next couple of weeks I should be getting my new bed. In honor of that, I've decided I need new Bed Stuff. Not blankets because fuck me, we have about a billion of those things! Also, I'm not really into comforters or comforter SETS (probably because my mom was insane for that when I was growing up. On any given day the woman had about 15 different SETS of sheets, including duvet covers and pillow shams and all that stuff! I have about 4 fitted sheets for the kids cribs and maybe 2 for our bed. I don't see the need to have any more than that, myself). I will need a mattress pad, and a couple of deep pocket fitted sheets (we don't like flat sheets, so that would be a waste). I will probably get a new bed ruffle, just because it keeps the kids from realizing that there is space under the bed... and anyone else from seeing stuff we've shoved under the bed.

That leaves pillows. Our pillows are horrible. BTW, don't ever buy pillows from IKEA. Awful. I'm really picky about my pillows, though. I need them to be FLAT as possible, without being flush to the bed itself. I've often wondered why I need a pillow in the first place, but I do seem to need that 1 - 2" of elevation *shrug*. Anyway, I need an almost flat one when I'm sleeping on my back or stomach, and can use a slightly fuller one when I'm on my side. I also need one to hold onto - so I'm constantly flipping from one pillow to another throughout the night. I was looking at these pillows on Amazon. I'm liking the reviews because most of them comment on their general "flatness", or non-firm-ness anyway. The only thing I don't like is that they seem like the pillows that you sink into, which causes them to plump up all around your head. I hate that.

What kind of pillows do you use and do you love them or hate them?
 
 
Mama Megs
24 February 2012 @ 09:58 pm
My mom bought these pillow / fleece blankie sets for the kids for Christmas. Pretty much immediately I noticed that Sadie's "Santa / Frosty" themed pillow wasn't right. Mainly it was the demon frosty pictured below. Everyone was befuddled by demon frosty. Alrighty Then. About two weeks ago a button had popped of the pillow and my immediate thought was "WTH? There was a button on that pillow? How did I not notice that, considering all of the specific looking and speculating of that pillow that was done?! I mean, HELLO CHOKING HAZHARD?!!?" Right?

Yeah, well, for whatever reason the button itself escaped similar scrutiny, other than the fact that I couldn't get rid of the fucking thing. Every time I tried to throw it away, it kept popping back up. I noticed it yet again just now in the bathroom.


YOU TELL MECollapse )


Yeah.

 
 
I'm Feeling: distressedWTF!
 
 
Mama Megs
20 February 2012 @ 08:29 pm
Right. I've decided that San Diego "playground moms" are TOTAL COMPLETE DOUCHEWADS. Not lux_roark or pirateisapirate, because you guys are cool. I don't think I'm missing any of my other SD flisters, and if I am it is just an oversight - bc I wouldn't even have you on my flist if you were an a-typical douchewad - no sense of humor having - mom.

Anyway. Yeah. Playground mom? *shakes head* I'll never be one. Not Ever. I actually fear for when my kids are in elementary / middle schools, and I'm expected to be all nicey-fake-agreeable-wtfever-with douchewad teachers, and other parents, and my kids friends parents.

Oy Vey. Bitches be crazy, you guys. Playground bitches be all kinds of pretensious - know it all - shit talking - shit talkers. and, frankly, I never did the sorority thing in college, so I'm not looking for the natural progression of it now that I've shit out a couple of kids.  GOD.
 
 
I'm Feeling: annoyedannoyed
 
 
Mama Megs
18 February 2012 @ 09:21 pm

CONGRATULATIONS TO KAT, AKA austrianna FOR THE HEALTHY DELIVERY OF BABY DEXTER!!!

 
 
 
Mama Megs
14 February 2012 @ 10:11 pm
meh  
Wow. I got cut by someone that was clearly a surprise. They didn't delete their journal, they just cut me from it. and lookit - I've never posted a post like this. Even from the cheshire_megs account. I actually expect it from that one. I'm not all broke up about it or anything, but this was a semi-regular flister, and, frankly ... yeah ... it stings.

Guess that's my cue to be more on top of my comments and stuff... and sorry if I don't do it enough. I'm not even going to say anything snarky about my two 2 yr olds sucking up all my precious LJ time, either. That's just life *shrugs*
 
 
I'm Feeling: disappointedkinda bummed
 
 
Mama Megs
14 February 2012 @ 05:47 pm

I heard the most pointless conversation ever last night.

Sadie: Sadie Hungry!

Me: (grumbles something about hating Elmo forever for teaching her to talk in first person)

Justin: No, honey I'M hungry.

Sadie: No! Daddy No Hungry! Sadie Hungry!

Justin: Say "I'M Hungry!"

Sadie: NO! Daddy No Hungry!! Sadie Hungry!

Justin: No, sweetpea... just say "I'm Hungry". Not "Sadie's Hungry", you say "I'm Hungry"

Sadie: (nods & holds out her apple to Justin) Daddy eat apple!

Sean: GROWLCRYEYEBROWSFURROWEDWILLKILLYOUIFYOUDONTPUTSOMEFOODINMYFACENOOOOOOW

Me: That went well.

I've decided that Feb 14th would be better spent celebrating bad dancing to good AC-DC - aka - St. Sadie's Day. Cheaper, anyway. Happy Happy, Lovelies.

 
 
Mama Megs
27 January 2012 @ 07:37 pm
GOD - I'm just obsessed with this song right now (yeah. me and 60 million other people). Even Justin likes it, and that pretty much never happens. There is definitely an 80's element to it. I'm getting Peter Gabriel - The Human League - Men at Work - whoever sang "I got this feeling, somebody's watching me", etc.

 
 
Mama Megs
22 January 2012 @ 07:57 pm
WOOT  
Today has been very busy / productive. Which just makes me high on life. I know *gags* right? *shrug*. Anyway, I didn't do jack crap yesterday, which I justified by a, being Saturday and 2, being rainy - which usually equals a total guilt free pass to do jack crap. But, by the end of the night, I still felt crappy about it.

By 10 this a.m. I had showered and been to the grocery store. And not just to pick up a couple of things, either. I'm talking a 60 minute / 200$ trip. I haven't been doing those lately, favoring instead to text Justin to bring home various things pretty much every night.

By noon I had gotten the kids bathed.

By 1 I had two honking loads of laundry done (AND folded)

By 2 I made the kids fruit jello cups for the week.

By 3 I had the kitchen and dining room floors cleaned.

- took a me break between 3 and 5, where I watched 4 back to back episodes of House Hunters -

By 5:30 I had made the kids a fresh batch of ground turkey goulash.

By 6:30 my crockpot Mexican Chicken was done.

Right now my kids are, literally, running around in circles and screaming at the top of their lungs. It's physically hurting my earholes. I should probably stop putting crack in their dinner.
 
 
I'm Feeling: productiveproductive
 
 
Mama Megs
19 January 2012 @ 04:47 pm
Took the kiddos on a play date today (erm, even though my friends toddler was not there, just her 5mo. old, but whatever. The kids LOVED the back yard. I freaking need one of those things SO BAD). My friend kept going on about Sean's fabulous hair, and how I need to get him into hair modeling. I pointed out that it's not like there is a plethora of baby hair products out there... right? It was so ridiculous that I had to google it as soon as I got home. FYI - there is, like, zero "niche" market for baby hair models. Despite how fabulous it is. (and it is. freakishly fantastic. poor Sadie got her daddy's hair. that just seems - backwards)